Daddy Gave Me a Name

            No subject touches my heart more than the topic of fatherless America.  I believe it is the stem of all our social problems.  We are slowly becoming a culture of fatherlessness.  An article in The Washington Times states that a single mother has three daughters.  Each has matching glittery boots, but none has the same father. Each has uniquely colored ties in her hair, but none has a dad present in her life. 

We are losing the idea of fatherhood in our society.  It has been almost two years since a six-year old girl has seen her father.  While skyping he asks her to tell him what’s on her mind.  She answers by saying, “Daddy, I really, really want you to come here to see me.”  Quickly the subject is changed and not even a glimmer of hope is made at granting this little girl’s wish.  

          Fatherlessness is on the rise.  Studies show that 41% of births in the United States now occur outside the context of marriage.  Only 29% of African American children live with their married parents.   There is a direct link between violent crime, drug abuse, gangs and a father’s absence.  Our society needs a solution to this nation’s most serious issue.

                      Our society sees fathers as unnecessary.  In the book, Fatherless America, David Blankenhorn states there are many different names we use to identify fathers in America. There is the Sperm Donor, Deadbeat Dad, Baby Daddy, Stepfather, or Nearby Guy.   But, children are crying out for the Good Family Man –a  man that sticks by his family and gives, not only his money, but his time. How much longer does this six-year old girl have to wait for her father’s visit?  Or, one day will the skyping and phone calls end too? 
 Think of it this way – in a few years we will have two groups of youth in our country.
  They will speak the same language and have the same national history but they will live two different lives.  One group will have psychological, social, economic, educational, and moral benefits.  One group will not.  The main factor in these groups will be fatherlessness.  All to many children live the lives that Everclear described in their song, "Father of Mine":

Father of mine
Tell me where have you been
You know I just closed my eyes
My whole world disappeared
Father of mine
Take me back to the day
When I was still your golden boy
Back before you went away

I will never be safe
I will never be sane
I will always be weird inside
I will always be lame

Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away

          Our children desire both parents present in their lives.  It is ideal for the parents to be married and to love each other and raise a family within the love of that marriage.  But in situations where that is not possible, it is vital to put the child first at all times.  And not only if something better doesn't come along (like a new wife and family, new job, new life).

          D Todd Christofferson offers this advice in his talk, "Brethern, We Have Work to Do."     You adult men—fathers, single adults, leaders, home teachers—be worthy models and help the rising generation of boys become men. Teach them social and other skills: how to participate in a conversation, how to get acquainted and interact with others, how to relate to women and girls, how to serve, how to be active and enjoy recreation, how to pursue hobbies without becoming addicted, how to correct mistakes and make better choices.

          Likewise, the role model of a father that loves a little girl is irreplaceable in her life.  By having a father in her life, she will see kindness, respect, she will see courage and someone who is willing to sacrifice for her.  That model will be what she will seek in her life as she grows up and how she will expect boys to treat her.

          Fatherhood is not something that you can walk away from.  It is a partnership with the mother, the child and a responsibility from God.