Ten Valuable Lessons Mom Taught Me

She always idolized Jackie Kennedy.  She often told me, “Jackie didn’t cry in public.”  So it was not surprising that on that December morning in 1989, when she realized that her husband lay dead in the bedside her, the first thing she would do would be to put on her pantyhose.  She got her self ready for the long day ahead and then called 911 and me.

She had the bravery of Jackie.

She told me right before we entered the funeral home for my father’s viewing, “I am going to do all I can to take good care of myself, but I want you to know that if I should die, I would be so happy to be with your father again.”  She had the valor of Jackie.

My mother was diagnosed with lymphoma in 1976.  She only told my father.  She didn’t tell me; she didn’t tell her sister or even her own mother.  She kept that secret to herself and dealt with her grief herself until 1987.  Cancer was part of her life for over 30 years.  She often said, “I am living with cancer, not dying from it.”  She had the courage of Jackie.

Life was not easy for my mother, Josephine.  She had known heartache and tragedy in her life.  Her brother was killed in fire in the line of duty as a fireman.  She loving raised a son with a multitude of disabilities in a world that was not disability-friendly.  She had a career in a time when women stayed at home.  Through it all, she taught me devotion, loyalty, endurance and faith.

I was honored to be at her side the day she passed away.  It was the sweetest day of my life.  I know she was scared, everything was happening so quickly.  She was supposed to be released from the hospital and now her vital signs were rapidly dropping, she couldn’t speak words that were understandable, and I was signing papers.  Eventually things calmed down and it was just the three of us in the room; my brother, my mother and I.  A lawyer had come to rewrite her Will for my brother’s benefit.  She was able to communicate to me where the key to the safe deposit box was.  All this was important to my mother.  When I told her that her sister was on her way, she indicated, “No.”  As in life so in death, she didn’t want pity or crying.  She had the desire for privacy like Jackie.

I informed my brother that Mommy was about to die, we told her we loved her and I can see in her eyes she was telling us that she loved us, then, she peacefully rested.  She rested knowing that all was done.  She rested knowing that she was going to be with her devoted friend and husband again.  She had the grace of Jackie.

I learned courage from my mother.  I learned that sometimes things don’t turn out how you would like them to.  I learned that we take the good and bad in life.  I learned what a great marriage was.  I learned that love really does conquer all. I learned that we live each day at a time.  I learned that everyday brings new hope.  Throughout her life, she taught me the dignity, quiet power and honor of Josephine.